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Wow, how interesting it is to be of mixed blood! Some days I love being 1/4 Japanese, others I dread.

I’ve had multiple issues with people saying that I’m a liar and that I don’t count, that I look just white.

What hurt me the most is recently my friend all of a sudden blew up. She said I was a wannabe, that I’m a liar. “Tessa you don’t look Asian, you just pretend. Someone told me you’re just white.” And she said many other nasty things. Another close friend of mine, whether she was joking or not I don’t know, said she was sick of pretending that I’m Asian. I have nothing to prove. Thank God my mom defends me.♥

What I said back is that of course I look white cause I am! I’m not denying that. And that I hope she’ll understand soon. Another hard thing is I have no contact with my Japanese family. No dad, no grandfather. I don’t know Japanese.

And everyone expects a stereotypical looking Asian, when I say that I am. It’s just me in my biological family that’s Asian. Cousins won’t ever realize. My aunt doesn’t know. My mom flaunts/loves it! XD

She loves that I’m 1/4 asian. And tells me to be proud. I have some friends who let me be my Asian-self. I also have a very special friend who is also 1/4 Japanese, and we understand each other very well.

My mom married into a family with a bunch of half Filipinos. So now, I’m not alone. I get tons of sympathy. But it’s just so hard sometimes. Telling this story of my life makes me feel a little bit better; a little more proud.

9 thoughts on “Japanese, American

  1. I can relate with this so much. I’m 1/4th Okinawan and 3/4 Caucasian and hardly anyone I know knows that Okinawa is even a thing so I usually just say “Japanese”, but there are some ethnic differences and tensions between Japanese and Okinawans so my grandmother doesn’t like it when I say it. Just imagine all the problems of other people telling you what you “Are” and add a third layer to it with the differences between Okinawans and Japanese. I’m blessed to have been raised with my Okinawan grandmother and learn the customs and the Japanese language though.

  2. Oh you are so sweet!!
    I can totally feel all you guys, how it is to be “only” 1/4 asian. Everyone calls you a “fucking white potato” or that we are wannabes, because we dont look like 100% asian. But even if we dont look completely asian, who cares?! We have it in our blood! And most of us also got raised like that. We are multicultural, we have asian blood in us, and we have that asianswag (yeah!)!! ALL OF US!
    So I know its long time ago, but be proud of that! Be proud of who you are <3 No matter what your friends or other people say. I know it hurts, dont give a shit. But we are allowed to call ourself asian! We are allowed to "act" asian, because we are mixed asians! AND WE HELL NO AREN'T WANNABEES!!

  3. I can totally relate to u hun !
    I’m Chinese with an English father and I was raised by an English family in a virtually white neighborhood.
    Growing up I looked alot more Caucasian than Asian, especially with my natural blonde hair and big green eyes but for some reason whenever I learned about Chinese culture I felt at home, and there was another Chinese kid at primary school who I used to always hang around with and I felt I could relate to him. Now I’m one of those that are seen by whites as Asian and in most cases seen by other Asians as white lol.
    When I met my fiance (who is full Chinese) he could see straight away I am Asian and suggested I trace my ancestry where I found the answers I was looking for my whole life :D

    I couldn’t care less about racist comments from whites, but from Asians its worse: I have been pushed away by other Chinese, and been called a wannabe, white, half-breed, albino, fake, been told to stop wishing etc. And I’m not gonna lie it hurt and at one point I even considered plastic surgery to make myself look ‘full’ so my own race could accept me as one of them. Now I learned to not give a damn what people say, white or Asian.
    I get alot of compliments on my look and respect for learning my native culture and been true to myself and it feels amazing. I hope u do the same! ^_^ ♡

  4. Thank you for posting this, reading your story made me feel like I could connect with you :) I have a similar situation, but sort of the opposite. I am 1/4 Irish, and I have friends who say things like “You don’t count as mixed” and “Don’t lie, you’re not white.” It hurts my feelings as it makes me feel confused about my identity.

    However, I think we should have confidence in ourselves, no matter what others say. Don’t let negative comments put you down or challenge your Japanese side. You are a beautiful mix and nobody should convince you otherwise! :)

  5. Hey, I can relate to a lot of your experiences. I too am 1/4 Japanese and 3/4 Caucasian (and like…1/32 Native American XD doesn’t count). It’s much easier now that I’m in high school, but back in middle school my so called “friends” would always tell me things like, “You’re NOT Japanese you’re white trash!” and they would call me a weeaboo and all kinds of things even though they had seen my mom who is obviously 1/2 Japanese. They were just trying to be mean and degrade me. Now, things have settled down luckily, coincidentally, my best friend is 1/4 Vietnamese and my current boyfriend is 1/2 Filipino so we all know what it’s like to be mixed and we can relate in that way.

    Kar is very right though. It’s true. Japanese blood is YOUR blood, Japanese culture is YOUR culture. YOUR ancestors spoke Japanese, etc. That alone means that there is an obvious connection. It’s a part of who you are and jealous or mean people that say you aren’t can’t change that ;D. It’s hard for me too sometimes, but it’s best to embrace everything that you are. :)

  6. I’ve come back to this site so many times; and back to this post I did. I just want to say thanks for the support. And everyone else on this site..lets spread that HAPA PRIDE!!!

  7. YOU ARE 1/4 Japanese too? Its so cool :)
    I guess in your case the traits that Japanese people usually have are less of less apparent, but Sometimes its good to look like more than one culture. I can say that I myself have a LOT of these traits, but some of them look a little odd with the others. Its like blending cultures in a blender to make a smoothie. Flavors are more bold than others :)

  8. Stay strong! It doesn’t matter if you can’t speak the language or don’t know your Japanese family, you have that blood IN you, and it is who you are. Even if you weren’t raised with Asian culture, what’s so wrong about trying to pursue it?

    I can relate with you. I’m half Chinese and half White (ppl usually think I look more white), and while I did grow up with my Asian father, he never taught me Chinese (wanted me to be good at English first) and didn’t really immerse me in his culture. I jokingly call myself a “vanilla wafer” – yellow on the outside, white on the inside!

    And even though I was raised 100% American, I still want to experience things and cultures that are Asian – and if someone wants to call me a fake, so be it. I don’t see them trying to expand their cultural understanding.

    Screw the haters. I mean, how many 1/4th Japanese girls are out there? You’re very unique, and need to represent that hapa voice; don’t let people silence you. :)

  9. Awww how cute I totally agree with u, me being a fourth as well…we really never get accepted as asian unless we look very asian…and most of the times people always think were lying…

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